We celebrate Apologyfest

Well, la rentrée politique is upon us, and the pointless apologies, wrung out from hapless public figures by a self-indulgent and ultra-touchy public, rain like oobleck onto the thoroughfares. 

Here is the latest:

Cameron to Apologize for Saying Queen ‘Purred’

David Cameron, the British prime minister, disclosed Queen Elizabeth II’s reaction to the result of the Scotland vote.

Look -- It’s not as though he said she “meowed”.

Rx:  No world leader should ever publically say anything.   Let your thoughts be known only through spokespeople, who can always be reprimanded and sacrificed.

For abundant exemplification of this bad-faith phenomenon, from around the globe, click here:

In the forecast:  Scattered apologies, heavy at times

[Update]

Actually,  it turns out, the Cameron incident wasn’t even a public statement -- it was one of those private conversations caught on an intrusive microphone.   The diplomatic damage should thus be blamed on the TV crew, and on all the media parasites that cynically broadcast the story -- if anyone should apologize, it is they.

So, even that severe Rx does not suffice.   We revise it thus:

Rx 2.0: No world leader should ever publically say anything;  and private conversations should be in sign language, or by writing terse statements on an Etch-a-Sketch, which should promptly be shaken clean.

And the public wonders why it is so hard to get distinguished people to run for public office anymore.    Duh.

(See this week’s cover-story in the New York Times Magazine, an excerpt from a forthcoming book, concerning the media circus that helped launch the downward trend:  the sliming of a leading Presidential candidate, Senator Gary Hart.)

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False Umbrage

An excellent, non-groveling, non-croweating punchback by Dana Milbank  in this morning’s Post:   

         The chimichanga wars

Excerpt:

The spat over the fried burrito gets at one of the most annoying components of our decaying political culture: false umbrage. Liberals created this form of identity politics, in which an underrepresented group claims persecution, but conservatives have embraced it. One of its most common expressions is the demand for an apology. It’s phony by definition — an apology can’t be sincere if it’s answering a demand — and the reflexive demand (like a demand for a resignation) serves only as an excuse to keep a news story alive. Sorry, but it’s time to put this tired gimmick to rest.

Don’t miss the very funny comments by readers.

There’s still hope.

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False umbrage is a term which (like “to downromney”)  deserves to enter our everyday vocabulary.   (A reader offered a more child-friendly synonym: mock outrage.)  Having a ready word for a thing  helps us notice that thing when it arises.  (For this insight, consult our chapter "The Stokes Conjecture", in The Semantics of Form in Arabic.)

It is a variety of a general phenomenon, usefully discussed by the Existentialists under the rubric mauvaise foi (“bad faith”).  Another variety is what C.S. Lewis skewered under the label of “delicacy”.

Compare this:

The non-apology apology.