Sunday, November 3, 2013

Consensus Building

We were bemused to see that a poll of French voters has found over ninety-percent demanding major changes in the Hollande administration.

We were almost envious.  It’s next to impossible to find ninety percent of Americans to agree about anything.
And so, in a lamp-in-hand quest for possible areas of harmony, we sent our pollsters out among the masses.   We began with a proposition of arithmetic.

In a recent poll conducted by WDJ Worldwide Enterprises, a healthy sixty percent of Americans were “fairly sure” that two plus two equals four;  twenty percent were uncertain; another twenty percent were undecided;  eighteen percent favored an alternate result for the summation, with the favored figures correlating strongly with gender and race;  six percent spluttered that the whole thing is a conspiracy;  and nineteen percent were too zoned out to comprehend the question.

When someone challenged our figures, claiming that they “don’t add up”, we replied:  “Oh, so, so you must be one of those two-plus-two-equals-four know-it-alls.”

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