We all want to be … well, we all
wish to seem, culturally literate. It can even be crucial to your career. Recall that, in Agatha Christie’s
classic Thirteen at Dinner (which of course you do recall, don’t you),
the schemes of the murderer come unraveled when, at a dinner party, she
ignorantly assumes that “the Judgement of Paris” alludes to the capital of
France.
But as one wise philosopher
observed here, that’s way 2 much work.
Accordingly, we offer, gratis
(free-will offerings gratefully
accepted),
Dr J’s Han-D Cultural Literacy Cheat-Sheet
Bullet-proof lines for use in social gatherings. If someone mentions the following subjects, here is how you reply:
Beyoncé / Jay-Z / Justin Bieber /Rihanna
/ … : (groan)
“That’s so-o-o-o last-week…”
The Riemann Hypothesis: (pause thoughtfully; then say, as though weighing each word) “Basically, a kind of Thinking
Man’s Poincaré Conjecture.”
Thomas Pynchon : (casually) “I’ve read his upcoming blockbuster in galleys -- Deadly Penguins. Makes all his previous efforts look
like juvenilia.”
Karl Marx: (Do not introduce this name into polite conversation. However, if some rascal does, coolly
reply:)
“MmmMarx, mmmmyes. Intermittently interesting. Have you read his film criticism?”
[Note: This one’s tricky. Since the name is pronounced HAY-g’l ,
you’ll need to somehow make clear that you are not talking about the current
Secretary of Defense.]
Aristotle: (If no-one ever slyly slips this name into conversation,
then you are attending the wrong parties.) “Personally, I prefer
Plato.”
Plato: (If someone angling for the attentions of the same girl or
prospective employer drops “Plato” into the conversation as a sort of
knight-to-bishop’s-three, you’ve got stiff competition. Time to pull out all the stops.)
“ ‘Plato’; realll-ly.
-- Impossible to appreciate outside the context of the post-Heracliteans.”
(At that point,
unmanned, your opponent will deflate and slink off.)
Of course, the best way to
establish your up-to-the-minute literary-philosophical creds, is to pipe up brightly:
Have
you read the latest from Dr
Justice?
A
wise-cracking two-fisted pre-Conciliar thriller,
Available
in
.
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