Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Riemannistan claims New York Harbor

In the latest exercise of Realpolitik (or perhaps better:  Surrealpolitik),  China has constructed a little artificial island or buoy or diving-platform  in international waters;  claimed it (We built it, We bought it);  and claimed the surrounding ocean as its territorial waters.
The island is known   in the local language  as Wee Hee Woi Hoi, which translates as “Pimple Island”.  In reckless disregard of Chinese sovereignty, the US quickly sent warships on a drive-by.  China denounced this.

Pimple Island,
sacred to the Chinese

And now we, the free people of people’s freedom-loving Riemannistan,  do join our chorus to that of our Chinese brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts, in excoriating the racist imperialist sexist navalist U.S. power-move.

Realizing that a sort of sea-rush was about to be unleashed, comparable to the land-rush in the early United States,  Riemannistan has accordingly built an island of its own, smack in the middle of New York harbor.    It shall be internationally known as:

 =>  Pickelberg  <=

Physically, Pickelberg is as yet somewhat unprepossessing;   consisting, as it does so far, of nothing but a yellow rubber duckie, previously denizen of our bathtub.  But still, it is sovereign under International Law.  Its (projected) lofty peaks and rolling hills, are  sacred territory to the Riemannistanians.   And according to our law, its dominions stretch over an 800 mile radius in every direction -- by land, by sea, or in the air.   Thus, Riemannistan now effectively controls all commerce on the Eastern seaboard.

As our first economic act under this new regime, we proclaim a 100% tariff on all imports, and all exports as well.   Please remit payments  care of this site, to:

            Al-Imam Dawud
            Supreme Leader
            People’s Cantorian Republik of Riemannistan
            537  Married People’s Circle
            Marriedland,  USA

Payment is accepted in Swiss francs or bullion only;  no dollars, pesos, second-party welfare checks, or Euros, please.

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