Showing posts with label diplomacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diplomacy. Show all posts

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Tabarnia, Riemannistan ink pact


The People’s Pataphysical Republic of Riemannistan TM  has signed a mutual-defense and mutual-admiration agreement with the Popular Subregional Areola of Tabarnia, sources revealed.   As part of the deal, Riemannistan agreed to recognize Jerusalem as the Tabarnian  capital (since the villages of that minuscule district can hardly compete);  as an amicable quid pro quo, Tabarnia has declared war on the infidels of Chunky Chipmunk Lane.


The so-called “nation” of Pomerania,
jointly claimed by Tabarnia and Riemannistan


~  The World of Dr Justice ~
~ “News You Won’t Find Anywhere Else”© ~


[Update 29 Dec]  In a disturbing development, Narnia has declared war on Tabarnia, for copyright infringement.


[Update 30 December 2017]  Further complicating the picture, Azawad has announced that it is now allied with one of the belligerants, but it won’t say which.  “That’s a state secret.”

[Update, 31 Dec 2017]  Seems as though this business of national boundaries keeps getting messier.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/29/world/europe/slovenia-croatia-border-eu.html?_r=0
Accordingly, Abu-Dawud al-Yemeni, imam of Riemannistan, has suggested that the world revert to its pre-Carolingian boundaries and simply start from scratch.
Here you go:



[Post scriptum:  Thus forewarned, Riemannistan has been quick to assert its claim to all of the green areas.  R U basis is B wrong 2 us !!]

[Update, 1 Jan 2018]  In a confusing development,  Tabarnia now claims to have the backing of the Warsaw Pact  in its battle against Narnia.

[Update 2 Jan 2018]  Owing to NATO's refusal to accede to Riemannistan's just demands, the world peace so recently fashioned at the urging of al-Imam Dawud  has fallen apart.
We need a more drastic solution:  Return to the ante-bellum boundaries that obtained in the early Mesozoic. 
Here's how it looks:


Simple, isn't it?  What could go wrong?

.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Jour de la Bastille 2017

Félicitations à nos alliés de plusieurs guerres, et meilleurs vœux pour une solide coopération entre nos nations.
Et heureux anniversaire à mon épouse Suzanne Marie, née en ce jour il y a, eh ben, quelques années et le pouce, et qui porte un nom français en l’honneur de cette amitié  plusieurs foix séculaire.
Pour célébrer, voici le palmarès de nos aperçus hexagonaux:
La francophonie


A beautiful friendship

Welcome words from Président MACRON:

« Nous avons trouvé des alliés sûrs, des amis qui sont venus à notre secours. Les États-Unis sont de ceux ci. Rien ne nous séparera, jamais. »
http://www.leparisien.fr/politique/14-juillet-rien-ne-separera-jamais-la-france-et-les-etats-unis-assure-macron-14-07-2017-7134135.php


~


The military aspect:

Un siècle après leur entrée en guerre dans le conflit mondial de 14-18, les troupes américaines ont joué les premiers rôles lors du traditionnel défilé du 14 Juillet, accueillies par le salut militaires de leur «Commander in chief».
Emmanuel Macron a réaffirmé ce vendredi la solidité de l'amitié entre les Etats-Unis et la France à l'issue du traditionnel défilé militaire du 14-Juillet qui a arboré cette année les couleurs de l'US Army, cent ans après l'entrée des Etats-Unis dans la Première guerre mondiale.
Sous les yeux des deux chefs d'Etat présents dans la tribune d'honneur, les héritiers des "Sammies", surnom donné aux militaires américains engagés en 1917, ont ouvert sur les Champs-Elysées ce défilé.
http://www.lefigaro.fr/flash-actu/2017/07/14/97001-20170714FILWWW00076-macron-rien-ne-nous-separera-jamais-des-etats-unis.php


Linguistic note:
This morning’s NPR report described that march-vanguard as being “dressed as doughboys”, America’s term for its soldiers in WWI.  (The term actually goes back to some decades earlier.  Its etymology has been variously explained.  -- Contrast “G.I. Joe” in WWII.  Here too, the etymology has been controversial.  Merriam-Webster derives it from “galvanized iron”, of all things.)
And now it turns out our French allies called them "Sammies" (presumably from “Uncle Sam”).



Macron’s review-of-the-troops  would have been more impressive were it not for this story, the very same day:

«Je ne vais pas me faire b… comme ça», a lâché mercredi le général Pierre de Villiers devant la commission de Défense, au lendemain de l'annonce d'une coupe de 850 millions d'euros en 2017 pour le budget des armées.
http://www.lefigaro.fr/politique/2017/07/13/01002-20170713ARTFIG00179-budget-defense-le-general-de-villiers-laisse-eclater-sa-colere.php

Linguistic note to monoglots:
French “b … “ is the equivalent of our “f …”,  I presume.


~


A reader comments:

Parfait ! Mais si; par extraordinaire, le pays avait encore besoin d'un coup de main pour le libérer, Eux risquent fort cette fois de manquer du moindre enthousiasme !

Speaking only for myself:  The enthusiasm is as strong as ever; only, this time the threat to the Hexagon  stems not from the Saracens, nor yet the boches (French for ‘the Jerries’), but from its own fifth column of cultural dissolutionists,  who constitute  or welcome le grand remplacement.   And on this point, our President’s recent remarks in Poland  are much to the point.

Indeed, even as festivities  bathed the Champs-Elysées, the racaille of the banlieue were setting items on fire, hoarding projectiles, and setting an ambush for the police who responded to the provocations:

http://www.lefigaro.fr/flash-actu/2017/07/15/97001-20170715FILWWW00085-sevran-un-policier-menace-blesse-un-homme.php

The continued American willingness to defend France from its terrorist attackers, was neatly exemplified in 2015, when a trio of vacationing G.I.s  leapt into action to foil a terror-attack in a high-speed train.   Clint Eastwood is making a movie of the incident, starring the servicemen as themselves.   (A very promising premise -- especially the train setting, which has been perfect for movies for decades.)


~

Quant aux premières dames -- part of the sociéte du spectacle of this largely ceremonial summit :

Both our countries are fortunate in their First Ladies, this time around.
First, for France, the mere fact that there is a First Lady, the lawful wedded wife of the Président.  True, a divorcée, but the Presidential couple is a great improvement over their Socialiste predecessor, with his succession of mistresses, including the unspeakable adulteress Trierweiler.

As for us -- the U.S. -- not since Jackie has so stylish a First Lady  captivated France.
Sample appreciations:


http://www.parismatch.com/Actu/International/Melania-Trump-une-First-Lady-tres-elegante-a-Paris-1309259


Amen

.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Does the President go slithering through Russian “back channels”?



Once more, no, no reference to current events.   Just a bit of history here.

Dark doings in October of 1961, a time of crisis:

Folded inside the day’s New York Times, Bolshakov carried a twenty-six-page letter from Khrushchev to Kennedy -- a personal letter … Khrushchev proposed that the two leaders deal one-on-one,  using private letters to bypass old bureaucracies …
Khrushchev had written that Kennedy could ignore the letter  and that would be the end of it,  no one would ever know it happened.  But Kennedy answered with ten pages of his own ….
-- Richard Reeves, President Kennedy:  Profile of Power (1993), p. 238-9

And, after the crisis had been resolved:

There the negotiating stopped,  but the secret personal correspondence  between the leaders  continued,  often in pretty chummy terms.
-- Richard Reeves, President Kennedy:  Profile of Power (1993), p. 456

(In diplomatic history, “back channels” are a traditional and appropriate way of doing business, as are back rooms.)

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Schimpfwort of the Day: "schnurzegal"


Jean-Claude Juncker seems to be really getting into his role as the Dick Cheney of the European Union.   After blocking any input from the individual parliaments of Europe, into the proposed CETA agreement with Canada, Juncker sniffed that the whole thing was to him…. schnurzegal. 
That is a very colloquial, even vulgar German expression;  difficult to translate, but at a venture:  “Like I give a flying fuck.”


Again, exactly the sort of attitude that made the Brits want out.   (And, according to polls, ditto the French, and by an even larger margin.)

[Weiteres zum Thema  hier.]



Anyhow, it’s a neat word.   And in answer to Juncker et al’s strident demands that Britain be quick about it, chop-chop, in chosing a new Prime Minister (this, before it has even been decided, which party shall rule, or even who shall be the chief of either party -- both are in crisis), simply because such a rush would suit the tastes of the Brusselcrats,  Britons may now reply:  “Na ja, das ist uns ja aber halt schnurzegal.”

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

The “Dissent Channel” memo


When news of the recent State Department “dissent channel” memo  hit the headlines a few days ago, in which 51 diplomats called for U.S. airstrikes against the opponent of ISIL and defender of the Syrian Christian minority umm, the evil tyrant Bashar al-Assad,  I first assumed that this was something dug up from several years go.  Given all that has happened since -- given what has happened whenever a Muslim dictator was removed by force by the West or with heavy Western assistance (Mullah Omar, Saddam, Gaddhafi; and cf. the mess in Egypt and Yemen) -- surely no-one in their right mind would be calling for that now.   Accordingly we looked forward with Schadenfreude   to see  with what contortions  the signers would now backtrack from their foolish proposal.

But no -- the memo is new.  One gasps;  one stares;  on croit rêver.

Fortunately, the New York Times today published an analysis -- cum explication de texte -- of the memo, saying the things that seem so obvious  but which today’s unenterprising journalists seldom rise to.

BLUF:  Those diplomats must each have been dropped on their fontanelles shortly after birth, by some careless nurse.

Details:

Research by Micah Zenko of the Council on Foreign Relations found that airstrikes account for only a fraction of deaths in Syria. Mr. Zenko also found that no-fly zones tend to escalate wars rather than calm them.
Syria would be particularly tricky, given that many airstrikes are carried out by Russian rather than Syrian warplanes. The memo does not address whether a no-fly zone would apply to Russia or how Washington could enforce it without risking a major conflict.
Airstrikes, the memo argues, could be the leverage the United States needs to commandeer the negotiations and force Syria to compromise. This intervention would need to be forceful enough to overpower not only Mr. Assad, but also his Russian and Iranian backers, who have so far shown a willingness to escalate their involvement to keep their ally in power. The only way for the Obama administration to out-leverage Syria’s allies is to surpass their commitments, which at this point could require something as extreme as a ground invasion.
The most revealing aspect of this memo is what it excludes. It does not address how to resolve the deep disagreements even among allies about what a peace deal should look like. It does not offer a legal basis for war against Syria, which Russia would surely block at the United Nations. It does not say how to remove Mr. Assad without letting the Syrian government collapse.

A Dissent Channel is a good institution, offering an alternative to groupthink  and addressing the reluctance of subordinates to question their boss.  But it is not a guaranteed conduit for pearls of wisdom.


FWIW:  The stated foreign policy of Riemannistan  is to sit on the sidelines in lawn-chairs, and cheer Putin on, as he wades into yet another Islamic quagmire.



~

Observers have for some time  had qualms  about the martial adventurist tendencies of the former First Lady.   (Ditto John McCain, but he’s not running this year.)  Some observations from back in 2011:
 

Since then, especially since President Obama inked a pact with Iran (which already has brought great benefits to Boeing), such scenarious seemed less likely.    But apparently there is indeed a bloc out there that would back her, were she to decide to dive, once again, head-first into an alien morass.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Ultimatum and euphemism


Meeting at Munich, 1939:

“But this is nothing less than an ultimatum!” Chamberlain exclaimed.
“Nothing of the sort,” Hitler retorted.  When Chamberlain answered that the German word Diktat applied to it, Hitler responded:  “It is not a Diktat at all.  Look, the document is headed by the word ‘memorandum’.”
-- Wm Shirer, The Collapse of the Third Republic (1969), p. 370

I was reminded of that anecdote, by the recent Diktat from the DoJ  in May 2016, suddenly out of nowhere overturning millennia of societal arrangements, and  micromanaging the sociology of schools, under threat of being sued and losing federal funding (which by now has become a narcotic drug -- they just gotta have it).  Some people objected to this power-grab, but were informed  (by Loretta Lynch and her henchwomen) that those objections were null and void:  The DoJ Diktat was simply … “guidelines” : only, guidelines you’d d*mn well better follow, or else.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Allies versus “guarantors”


In his sad, wise, detailed chronicle of the fall of the Troisième république, William Shirer amply deliniates the hypocrisy and fecklessness of the French military high command, and much of the government as well.   In that, they are outdone only by the quite contemptible performance of the Belgians, both King and military.

But our point here is not to rake over those coals (though the lessons should be borne in mind, as the European Union shudders and cracks under the strain of the migrants crisis);  rather,  simply to cite therefrom, a useful and interesting terminological dichotomy, insufficiently in use in our day, between allies and guarantors:

The fact that Britain had sent the only army it had, and the French the best army it had, to help defend Belgium, did not seem to mean to him [King Leopold] that Belgium owed anything to them.  As the Belgian writer Marcel Thiry later pointed out,
The thought of the King was that, even after the violation of our tettitory, we had no allies but merely guarantors.  This was much more than a nuance:  with allies, you make war to the end, cost what it may;  guarantors, on the other hand, have the unilateral obligation to aid you by all their means, without you assuming any obligations toward them.
-- Wm Shirer, The Collapse of the Third Republic (1969), p. 696

The distinction regains point during the current going pageant on in Washington, in which Obama and Netanyahu put on a pantomime of their respective countries being “allies”.
The United States and Israel are not allies -- never have been.  Rather, the U.S. is Israel’s guarantor.  And perhaps that’s a good thing, perhaps an excellent thing -- to taste;  but no-one should form any illusion that the relationship is reciprocal.  (It is what the French call a contrat léonin.)


Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
.


Sunday, November 1, 2015

Bank Robbery (erweitert)


[1 November 2015]  A new wrinkle has appeared, in the matter of transAtlantic economic strong-arming.  Excerpt from a richly detailed report, on a site that is nowise salonfähig  but which apparently sometimes does its due research:

Der VW-Skandal hat nicht nur Wolfsburg erschüttert, sondern wird als Rammbock gegen die deutsche Wirtschaft insgesamt missbraucht. Der Skandal ist medial inszeniert und hilft einzig der maroden Supermacht USA bei der Schwächung eines Konkurrenten.
Die Bild-Zeitung gab, wie so oft, den Takt vor: «Das Beben bei Volkswagen – warum tut es uns allen so weh? Weil es eben nicht nur um ein Auto geht. Es geht um Made in Germany.» Die Londoner Times, eines der Sprachrohre der dortigen Börse, stieß ins selbe Horn: «Unmittelbar ist der Skandal ein schwerer Schlag für einen zentralen Pfeiler der stärksten Wirtschaftsmacht Europas.» Auch in Italien wurde kolportiert, dass der VW-Skandal «den guten Namen von ganz Made in Germany zu untergraben» drohe (La Stampa).
Aber was war eigentlich geschehen? Der Börsenexperte Dirk Müller («Mr. Dax») war einer der Wenigen, die kühlen Kopf behielten. Unter der Überschrift «Volkswagen-Skandal ist gar keiner» schrieb er auf n-tv: «Volkswagen hat die Tests für Diesel-Abgaswerte manipuliert. An dieser Stelle ist es völlig unstrittig, dass dies intolerabel ist und Konsequenzen haben muss. Aber es sei noch einmal betont, dass wir über geschönte Abgaswerte reden und nicht etwa über funktionslose Airbags, versagende Bremssysteme, über die die Fahrer nicht rechtzeitig informiert wurden, oder wissentlich defekte Zündschlösser, die zu zahlreichen Todesfällen geführt haben.“ Im letzten Fall war General Motors der Schuldige gewesen – der Anlasserdefekt kostete 174 Menschen das Leben.

Ein anderes Beispiel: Seit Jahren ist es bei allen Automobilherstellern gang und gäbe, dass der Kraftstoffverbrauch unter Testbedingungen im Labor stark von dem unter alltäglichen Verkehrsbedingungen abweichen kann. Die Softwaresteuerung, die dafür verantwortlich ist, entspricht jener, die jetzt bei der Manipulation der Abgaswerte durch VW aufgeflogen ist. Die südkoreanischen Autobauer Hyundai und Kia mussten für die Angabe des falschen Spritverbrauchs 100 Millionen Dollar Strafe bezahlen, General Motors kam mit 900 Millionen Dollar für die 174 Toten im Zündschloss-Skandal davon. So billig wird es für VW nicht werden: Der Absturz seines Aktienkurses vernichtete zwischenzeitlich Papierwerte in Höhe von 30 Milliarden Euro – und von der US-Umweltbehörde droht ein Bußgeld von 16 Milliarden Euro. Es ist offensichtlich, dass hier mit zweierlei Maß gemessen wird.
Interessanterweise gab es nach dem Auffliegen der Manipulationen bei VW kurzzeitig auch Spekulationen über ähnliche Tricksereien bei anderen Automobilherstellern mit Sitz in Deutschland, nicht aber bei US-Herstellern wie Opel oder Ford. Auch die mehrheitlich im US-Besitz befindliche Daimler-Benz AG blieb verschont. (…) Beschäftigen uns etwas ausführlicher mit dem amerikanischen Hintergrund des sogenannten VW-Skandals. Die USA stehen wirtschaftlich mit dem Rücken an der Wand:

Da sie für ihre Staatsanleihen kaum noch Abnehmer finden, drängen sie diese europäischen Notenbanken auf oder kaufen sie selbst. 500 Milliarden US-Dollar, die die Volksrepublik China seit Frühjahr abgestoßen hat, wurden von europäischen Notenbanken übernommen und etwa bei der Banque Nationale de Belgique «zwischengeparkt».

Das jährliche Handelsbilanzdefizit von Uncle Sam ist auf annähernd eine Billion US-Dollar angewachsen, weil seine Exporte auf dem Weltmarkt immer schlechter abzusetzen sind. Hinzu kommen die Verteuerung der für die heimische Automobilindustrie nötigen chinesischen Importgüter durch die Yuan-Aufwertung und die Tatsache, dass die US-Industrie weiter Marktanteile an europäische Hersteller verliert.
Die US-Wirtschaft insgesamt kommt trotz Nullzinspolitik – sprich: kostenloser Kreditvergabe – nicht in Schwung. Die seit Langem angekündigte Erhöhung des Leitzins durch die Notenbank Federal Reserve (Fed) wird immer wieder verschoben.
Selbst die alles dominierende US-Rüstungsindustrie fällt als Lokomotive aus, da ein großer Krieg, der ausreichend Nachfrage generieren könnte, entweder nicht in Sicht ist, oder das Pentagon davor zurückscheut.
Beispiele hierfür finden sich zur Genüge. Im Sommer 2014 verpflichtete die US-Justiz in einem zweifelhaften Verfahren die französische Großbank BNP Paribas zu Strafzahlungen von rund neun Milliarden US-Dollar, weil das Geldinstitut Handel mit Staaten wie dem Iran, Kuba oder Sudan getrieben habe, über die Washington Sanktionen verhängt hat. Der Schlag traf Frankreich an seiner derzeit empfindlichsten Stelle, dem überschuldeten Bankensektor. Im August 2015 verursachten amerikanische Hedgefonds den größten Börsencrash in der chinesischen Nachkriegsgeschichte. Über Leerverkäufe – sogenannte short sales – setzten sie einen Abwärtsstrudel chinesischer Aktien in Gang, der von der Regierung in Peking nur mit Mühe aufgefangen werden konnte. Die Folge war ein regelrechtes Börsenmassaker in Shanghai und Shenzhen.

[Reposted below, our original take on the Paribas affair, from May 2014]

 
We earlier commented on the improvised foray into foreign policy on the part of the NYPD, backed by an unlikely alliance of local Erinnyes and the New York Post.   The result was a tremendous disruption of French politics, of which most Americans are unaware, nor do they care.
This week, another drama has been playing out, scarcely reported save in the usual bland manner of the fleeting financial bulletins (BNP stock falls on the news; meanwhile in Malaysia …), and analyzed from a political and legal perspective, almost not at all.   

In brief:  The Justice Department is demanding payment from the French bank Paribas, roughly equal to twice its annual income last year (and enough to tip it into the red for the present), for conduct that was quite legal in Europe, where the transactions in question were conducted, but which runs afoul of US regulations.   The purported legal basis for this:  the transactions were denominated in dollars (libellés en dollars).   That is rather as though we were to demand damages from some Indian pop-star, claiming jurisdiction simply on the grounds that the song in question was sung in English, over which we claim a kind of worldwise conservatorship.

Outre l'amende, BNP Paribas a fait appel aux meilleurs avocats de Wall Street pour éviter une autre sanction potentiellement lourde: la suspension temporaire de son droit à mener des transactions en dollars. Une telle limitation, outre son caractère humiliant, affecterait sérieusement nombre d'activités de la banque, pas simplement aux États-Unis. La loi de l'État de New York interdit à une banque de maquiller la documentation de transactions en dollars qui viennent se dénouer auprès de la Fed de New York, même si elles ont eu lieu hors des États-Unis. Or BNP Paribas est accusée d'avoir caché aux autorités américaines de multiples transactions en dollars, pourtant conformes au droit européen.

Adding spice to the ragout is the detail that the regulations in question, far from being an application of generally recognized ethics or equity, were pushed through by particular political lobbies, whose agendas are purely their own, and do not align with American interests save now and then by accident.   To wit:  the pariah status of Nation X (pushed through by partisans of what, during Iran-Contra, might not be named, other than as “Country A”), and of Nation Y (in obeissance to an even tinier but quite violent core of operatives bent upon restoring the Casino Culture to Country C).
Upon these narrow fanaticisms, the tip of the world’s inverted financial pyramid  now wobbles.


 “Nice little bank y’got there…
Be a shame if somefing was to happen to it.”


That this development goes uncommented at home -- a nation with a historically casual attitude towards breaking other people’s china -- is unsurprising; but foreign reporting has likewise been surprisingly muted.   We must delve into the Readers Comments section  to find opinions of the sort we might seek on the editorial page, though they be mentioned only to refute them:

Wie lange noch wollen sich die Banken der Welt von den USA vorführen lassen, und mit welchem Recht? So lange jede Bank für sich kuscht, werden die USA ihre Erpressungen fortsetzen können. Vielleicht hören wir ja aber bald mal: Banken aller Welt, vereinigt Euch...

Il y a une chose très pourri sur le fond (indépendamment que certaines transactions de la BNP soient condamnables ou non).
Les Américains nous ont imposé dans le passé le dollar US comme monnaie de référence après l'abandon du standard or (Bretton-Woods) en forçant ainsi, tous les banques de travailler en USD. Maintenant, ils prétendent que toute transaction en USD tombe sous le coup de leur justice. Le moindre chose qu'on puisse dire, que cette manipulation est extrêmement hypocrite.
Monsieur Hollande ferait bien d'annuler l'invitation officielle de M Obama pour le 6 Juin (s'il veut venir à titre privé, c'est son affaire). C'est la seule chose qui ferait réfléchir tout le monde.


There have long been grumblings about replacing the dollar as the unique reserve currency;  this sort of overreach may hasten the day.

A Suisse financial journalist comments here:


"We'd like to make a withdrawal."


~
~  Posthumous Endorsement ~
"Seems like I had it all backwards:
Don’t rob a bank from the sidewalk like I did;
rob it from the boardroom.
Oh well, too late now.
But never too late for an exciting mystery --  "
(My name is Jesse James, and I approved this message.)
~         ~
~


Ten billion big ones  is not chump change.  One reader puts it in perspective:

10 Milliarden Dollar, das entspricht dem Jahreseinkommen von 400.000 arbeitenden Otto-Normalverbrauchern.

 [Note:  "Otto-Normalverbraucher" = Joe Bloggs.]


Ah well -- A deadbeat raises the lolly however he can.  And ten billion is just about what Britain has just awarded itself, with some creative accounting:

The British Government has just announced, through the statistics office the ONS, that they will be adding around £10 billion to estimates of what the UK’s GDP actually is. This is to account for the activity going on in the drugs and prostitution sectors.



[Update]  It now appears that, in addition to a whopping fine, the U.S. is demanding that Paribas fire certain employees that have displeased their foreign masters.   The demand seems extraordinary -- what possible jurisdiction could apply? -- but a parallel does spring to mind, from the current offering of “24”, “Live Another Day”.  Here, some terrorists have hijacked a fleet of drones and have threatened to incinerate thousands unless U.S. President Heller give himself up.
Not a pleasant parallel.



[Flash update]  This just in!
The Supreme Court of China has found the U.S. banking sector guilty of doing business with Taiwan, and has assessed damages of ten trillion yuan.  Failure to promptly comply will result in an immediate cessation of Chinese purchase of T-bills, and calling-in all its loans, resulting in a swift collapse of the American economy.
In other news, OPEC has determined that the United States is guilty of commercial dealings with Israel, contrary to Islamist law.    Oil exports have been halted until the guilty parties are turned over to Hizballah for trial.



Sauce for goose, is gander-sauce


In another unexpected development, the Neighborhood Association of Monogamy Lane, Littletown USA, where Dr Justice and his bride and their companion-hamster make their home, has assessed the worldwide media the round figure of 10 quadrillion euros, for having repeatedly violated the airspace above their sylvan cul-de-sac with unauthorized transmission of electromagetic waves.  Early analysis suggests that the Association might be willing to settle for a lower figure in return for lifetime free streaming of “Leave it to Beaver”.


[Classroom assignment:  Figure out which portions of this post are satire, and which are straight news.  Harder than you might think.]


[Update 1 June 2014]  Finally, some politically alert commentary is appearing in the mainstream press, to probe beneath the lid.  Turns out the Credit Suisse shakedown was also questionable:

In Europe, people are beginning to question the continual stream of investigations, indictments and regulatory fines involving European banks. Some even go so far as to accuse US regulators of pursuing a “vendetta” against European banks to appease public anger about the banking industry without harming the US industry. The dominance of European banks on the US regulators’ hit list is indeed noticeable, and not just for sanctions-busting: European banks also feature prominently in regulatory investigations into rigging of benchmark rates.

But the US regulators don’t need to be “picking on” European banks for those banks to feature prominently in criminal prosecutions for sanctions breaking and tax evasion. Internationally, there is no consistency of law. The offenses for which these banks have been fined are not necessarily offenses in their countries of origin.

Consider Credit Suisse’s recent conviction for “conspiracy to evade taxes”. Credit Suisse helped US citizens to evade tax. Under US law, both Credit Suisse and the customers involved were guilty of a crime. But Credit Suisse is a Swiss bank, and tax evasion is not a crime in Switzerland – but disclosing customer information is.


In these two cases,  then, the United States is not merely acting as international traffic cop, but as enforcing its own local regulations abroad -- ticketing Englishmen for driving on the left, as it were.
Now, I am not arguing from any position of blanket anti-interventionism. There are indeed a few unfortunate nations that seem perennially incapable of managing their own affairs.   But France and Switzerland are not among them.


[Update D-Day]   A disparity in press coverage across the Atlantic:

Une amende atteignant 16 milliards de dollars a été évoquée dans le cadre des débuts des négociations entre BNP Paribas et les autorités américaines, rapporte ce vendredi Reuters. De son côté, la presse américaine continue d'évoquer un montant compris entre 8 et 10 milliards de dollars.

And an interesting reader’s-comment on that page:

Déjà le 16 avril 2014 (www.latribune.fr) Le "diktat" du président américain oblige Renault à cesser toute activité en Iran. Faute de quoi, l'Alliance Renault-Nissan risquerait de ne plus pouvoir commercer avec les Etats-Unis. Renault a produit à travers ses partenaires 100.000 voitures en Iran l'an dernier... Déjà, PSA avait dû se retirer en 2012 sous la pression de GM. Un manque à gagner pour l'industrie tricolore!
Après 14 ans à l’Elysée et juste avant de mourir Mittérand écrivait:
« la France ne le sait pas, mais nous sommes en guerre avec l’Amérique. Oui une guerre permanente, une guerre vitale, une guerre économique, une guerre sans mort, apparement.
Oui, ils sont très durs les Américains, ils sont voraces, ils veulent le pouvoir sans partage sur le monde.
C’est une guerre inconnue, une guerre permanente, sans mort apparemment et pourtant une guerre à mort ». 27/1/97 le dernier Mitterand de Georges Marc Benamou.


~

We commented here on the bizarre American mishandling of the reparations and interallied-debt question after WWI.  (Usually this issue is depicted with France as the intransigent, and Wilson as the voice of reason.  Wilson was the voice of reason on this issue, but the rest of the country was not.)  This was more than a fleeting kerfuffle;  a distinguished chronicler who worked much of his life in France and Germany during the crucial years, summarizes the matter thus:

For more than a decade, the wrangling over war debts blew ill-feeling to and fro across the Atlantic.  By the time Hitler came to power in Germany at the beginning of 1933, the great alliance of the three Western democracies, which had humbled the Nazi dictator’s predecessors in 1918, was in ashes.  It was not to be revived, so far as the Americans were concerned, until Hitler had conquered France, put Britain in mortal peril, and declared war on the United States.
-- Wm Shirer, The Collapse of the Third Republic (1969), p. 152

Have a care, gentlemen;  have a care …

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Riemannistan claims New York Harbor


In the latest exercise of Realpolitik (or perhaps better:  Surrealpolitik),  China has constructed a little artificial island or buoy or diving-platform  in international waters;  claimed it (We built it, We bought it);  and claimed the surrounding ocean as its territorial waters.
The island is known   in the local language  as Wee Hee Woi Hoi, which translates as “Pimple Island”.  In reckless disregard of Chinese sovereignty, the US quickly sent warships on a drive-by.  China denounced this.


Pimple Island,
sacred to the Chinese


And now we, the free people of people’s freedom-loving Riemannistan,  do join our chorus to that of our Chinese brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts, in excoriating the racist imperialist sexist navalist U.S. power-move.

Realizing that a sort of sea-rush was about to be unleashed, comparable to the land-rush in the early United States,  Riemannistan has accordingly built an island of its own, smack in the middle of New York harbor.    It shall be internationally known as:

 =>  Pickelberg  <=

Physically, Pickelberg is as yet somewhat unprepossessing;   consisting, as it does so far, of nothing but a yellow rubber duckie, previously denizen of our bathtub, and now forward-deployed.  But still, it is sovereign under International Law.  Its (projected) lofty peaks and rolling hills, are  sacred territory to the Riemannistanians.   And according to our law, its dominions stretch over an 800 mile radius in every direction -- by land, by sea, or in the air.   Thus, Riemannistan now effectively controls all commerce on the Eastern seaboard.

As our first economic act under this new regime, we proclaim a 100% tariff on all imports, and all exports as well.   Please remit payments  care of this site, to:

            Al-Imam Dawud
            Supreme Leader
            People’s Cantorian Republik of Riemannistan
            537  Married People’s Circle
            Marriedland,  USA

Payment is accepted in Swiss francs or bullion only;  no dollars, pesos, second-party welfare checks, or Euros, please.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Katzenjammer aus Kakanien




“Sie sind in der Festung drin.  Diese Festung fällt nicht morgen oder übermorgen, aber wir wissen, sie fällt.  Nicht in fernen Generationen, sondern wir alle, wir wollen es noch erleben, daß sie fällt.
-- Otto Bauer, Vienna, March 1927

 It has been a month of awkward anniversaries.
=> Germany celebrated its reunion, in the midst of what feels like a national implosion.
=> The U.N. marked its 70th year of increasing uselessness.
=> And today, Austria feted its national day, while a ragtag army of intruders swarmed across its undefended national borders,  the police and politicians  looking on helplessly.   As for the Army, it has been gynecized into imbecility:

Was macht das für Landesverteidigung zuständiges Bundesheer währenddessen?

Es beschäftigt sich mit einem Gender-Sprachleitfaden aus dem SPÖ-Frauenministerium, der überall für Kopfschütteln sorgt.
(Worte wie Mannschaft, man, jeder, jemand und niemand sollen nicht mehr verwendet werden.)

Unglaublich...

The eve of the celebrations (such as they were) were besmirched by an astonishing outburst against Austria’s neighbors, by the Interior Minister Madame Mikl-Leitner:

Deutschland übernimmt nach Angaben von Innenministerin Johanna Mikl-Leitner (ÖVP) "aktuell einfach zu wenig Flüchtlinge”.

Now that is chutzpah in high-heels and a cocked hat:  Germany, the cul-de-sac into which the rest of the world is pouring its wretched-refuse, with Austria acting as the Schleuderer-in-Chief !

~

For just a moment, it looked as if, although Mutti Merkel has yet to come to her senses and defend her country's borders,  Mutti Mikl just might finally have caught on:

Österreichs Innenministerin spricht von einem Zaunbau.

But no such luck.  She still has not the gumption to suggest such a procedure for Austria;  rather, “let Ivan do it”:

Sollte die EU-Außengrenze in Griechenland nicht rasch geschützt werden, sei ein Zaunbau an Sloweniens Grenze zu Kroatien "überlegenswert".


~

Actually, Miss Mikl showed a certain pragmatism, in passing the buck  only as far as the next statelet over, Slovenia.   After all, it is in Slovenia’s own interests  that she defend her borders, keeping out the unwanted.   Whereas Merkel made a Canossa-trek all the way to Turkey, to implore Erdogan to do the dirty-work in her stead.




Now, let’s reason this out logically.   Whereas Norway, Finnland, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Germany, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia, Macedonia and Greece (to name the ‘extended West-Balkan route’, the Appalachian Trail of in-migration) would each like to keep the migrants out (but lack the will to do so),  Turkey by no means wishes to keep them in, which is what Merkel is asking.  Turkey doesn’t want the Syrians and she doesn’t want the Kurds, nor any other migrant band that uses Anatolia as a way-station.  Hence, whereas a nudge might induce overstressed Slovenia to guard its entrance-gates, Merkel would have to pay Turkey very dearly, to close its exits.   Thus keeping the steam inside the kettle.



And this she has proposed to do, via three inducements. 

*  Mucho moolah.   Unfortunately, this one’s no longer such a breeze, since Germany paid to bail out Greece yet again;  and as there will be a bill coming due for all those immigrants, a bill with (to use the chancellor’s chiselled phrase) “keine Obergrenze”.
*  No more visas required for Turks to enter Germany.  (Turkey already does a land-office business in fake Syrian passports; now fake Turkish passports  will also be in demand.)
*  A promise to speed Turkey’s entry into the European Union.  (This, at a time when Erdogan has been sliding ever deeper into dictatorial excess, and where civil war seems to loom.)

A more reckless piece of diplomacy  would be difficult to conceive.



~
Lesen Sie die Geschichte  spesenfrei !
~

[Update 28 October 2015] Gingerly advancing a toe towards what eventually needs to be done:

Angesichts des Flüchtlingsandrangs will Österreich seine Grenze zu Slowenien offenbar teils auch durch einen Zaun sichern. Österreichs Innenministerin Johanna Mikl-Leitner sagte am Mittwoch dem Sender Ö1, es gehe aber nicht darum, die Grenze "dicht zu machen". Vielmehr solle ein "geordneter, kontrollierter Zutritt" geschaffen werden.

A reader wryly comments, in reference to the increasingly urgent polemics from the Bavarian CSU-chef:

Grenzzaun zu Slowenien
Na also - offenbar war der Klartext von Seehofer doch nicht vergebens.


Another, more wryly still:

wozu brauchen die nen Zaun, die schicken die Flüchtlinge ja eh gleich weiter nach Deutschland. Wollen die jetzt auch noch den Sprit für die Busse sparen, die die Flüchtlinge an die deutsche Grenze karren. Da regt sich diese fragwürdige Innenministerin auf, das Deutschland zu wenig Flüchtlinge aufregt, und sie offensichtlich dann gar meine mehr

[Note to anglophones:  Sprit = fuel.]


Nun denn, wir bauen doch ‘nen Zaun --
aber doch nur 10 cm hoch !

Dazu:

Am Nationalfeiertag lobte die Staatsspitze in ihren Festreden in höchsten Tönen, wie sich das Land in der Flüchtlingskrise bewähre. Diese Bewährungsprobe besteht aus Improvisation und fußt auf der Annahme, dass Deutschland unbegrenzt alle Menschen aufnimmt, die sich über die Balkanroute durchgeschlagen haben. Bislang tut dies die Wirtschaftsgroßmacht auch; doch der Konsens in der Berliner Regierungskoalition, mit dieser Praxis fortzufahren, erscheint zunehmend brüchig.


~ Sigmund Freud  und  Sherlock Holmes: ~
~


[Update 28 Oct 2015]  Einführung in die Flüchtlings-Semantik
Mikl-L, responding to an interviewer, with a (probably unintentional) double-entendre.

Könnte Österreich in eine Situation kommen, in der es die Grenze nach Slowenien doch völlig dicht machen müsste?
Daran denkt keiner.


The intended conveyed-meaning is:  “No, of course not, nobody would ever want to do that.”
The literal, yet repressed (subconscious) meaning:  “Nobody is thinking of that -- not entertaining the possibility” (because they have their head in the sand;  yet it still might come up and bite them on the ass).


[Update 29 October 2015]   Flüchtlings-Semantik : Weiteres zum Thema
A mincing minuet, choosing euphemisms:

Innenministerin Johanna Mikl-Leitner (ÖVP) bleibt dabei: An der Grenze im steirischen Spielfeld müsse es Befestigungen geben.
Einen Vergleich mit Ungarns Zäunen weist sie strikt zurück.
Angesichts der Debatte um die Lage in Spielfeld – die steirische Integrationslandesrätin Doris Kampus etwa verwahrte sich strikt gegen "Zäune", kann sich aber ebenfalls bauliche Maßnahmen am Grenzübergang selbst vorstellen

Recall the polemics, a few years ago, over whether Israel’s divider against the Palestinians was a “fence” (good) or a “wall” (bad).  But now we are more delicate:  it’s between a “fence” (bad) and “temporary constructional measures” (acceptable).

Ceci n’est pas une clôture



For a superb gallery of political fences in history:

*
Falls Sie im Doktor-Justiz-Sammelsurium
weiterblättern möchten,

*

[Update 30 October 2015]  In fairness, and hewing to the principle that what’s sauce for the goose  is sauce for the gander (or, the people who live in glass houses, should not throw stones), we must concede that the United States, in addition to being often unwilling to defend its borders, has long been too feckless even to protect the White House with an adequate fence.  This latter saga is less well known to our European readers;  read about it here.

[Update 31 Oct 2015]   Austria, too, is running out of bears:


Spielfeld (Steiermark), 31 Oktober 2015
Dazu, letzlich, diese Ministerin:

http://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article148281032/Die-Flucht-Fahimis-aus-der-Schlangengrube.html#disqus_thread



[Update 10 November 2015] 
NDLR, explaining the latest euphemism:

Kein Wort von Mikl zu Zaun

Zu einem Bericht des "Kurier", wonach sie am slowenischen-österreichischen Grenzübergang in Spielfeld einen 25 Kilometer lange Sperre, vulgo Zaun, hochziehen will, erklärte Mikl-Leitner nur: "Ich werde zu dem Konzept nichts sagen."

A reader comments:

Die BMI führt sich auf wie eine spätpubertierende Klassensprecherin. Dauernd irgendwelche eigenartigen Wortspenden absondernd, droht sie mit einem Zaun, um zuletzt mit einem schmallippigen Grinsen anzumerken, dass die bösen Buben schon sehen werden was passiert.




[Update 11 November 2015]  Okay, it has gotten too complex for me to follow.  A rough outline.

(1) Deutscher Innenminister de Maizière  announces -- on what turns out to be his own hook -- that, henceforward, Syrian Eindringlinge  will be (save in exceptional cases) granted only a “secondary” asylum, with a time-limit and no right of family reunification.
In itself, that move, while significant, does not affect Austria, and Austria does not react.
However, swiftly thereafter, Merkel’s Sprachrohr  Altmeier says:  Nothing of the kind.  And de Maizière rapidly retracts.

Now:  At first blush, this makes de Maizière look like a fool, and as though he had been punked by Altmeier.  But … by that rash act, he successfully, subtlely, altered the terms of debate.   A sort of knight-sacrifice in the Great Game.

(2) Yesterday, de Maizière (or, as the press reported it, “Germany”) unlooses a bombshell:  the Dublin agreement (arbitrarily and de factco swept aside by Merkel and indeed all the other states on the immigrational Appalachian Trail) is once again in effect, even for (purported) Syrians.  Meaning, basically, that they get summarily sent back to whatever European country first admitted them (modulo unimportant provisos).
Now, this would be a very big deal, the tipping-point for the whole European migrant crisis;  yet few media reported on it -- I first learned of it, actually, from the Austrian media.  For:  the immediate effect of such a change in policy, would primarily impact Austria.

Quite interestingly -- and to her credit -- Mikl-L rushed into print hailing the decision, which she called long overdue.
Now, saluting a Zaun, such as that reprobate Orban (boo! boo!) quickly and manfully erected, is taboo;  so why would M-L make so bold as to salute one?  Isn’t she a coward, like virtually every other European politician?  -- Well,  doch;  but consider.  Once Germany closes its border (or enforces Dublin, which amounts to the same thing), Austria must needs swiftly do likewise.   Hence, to reduce the inevitable heat from doing so, praise the Germans for doing it first.  Otherwise you are in an impossible position.

But!  The proposal to enforce Dublin, turns out to have been another de-M. smoke-signal or trial-balloon:  He (reportedly) had not pre-cleared this bold and major move, neither with the Kanzlerin nor Altmeier nor anyone else.  Loose cannon, off the reservation?  And yet the blowback within Germany  was surprisingly mild.  As though all factions, from the Chancellor to the Greens, were, if not actively welcoming, at least seeing what anemometrical indications they might receive  from said smoke, said balloon.

(3)  And now -- Slovenia, the third domino in line, before the second (Austria) has fallen, and before the fall of the first (Deutschland) has been confirmed, begins building -- not “announces” its intention to maybe being discussions re (etc etc), but actually hands-on, soldiers-on-the-Grenze, build -- a border fence.  Which, if it were done correctly and were effective, would actually relieve Austria of the necessity of building one of its own.  So-o …  will Mikl-Leitlein  therefore backpedal?  -- Stay tuned.
.