WDJ: *Another* abject retraction

For reasons that utterly escape us, the slight post below now holds the record for the most-viewed item on this site.  More puzzling still, most of the pageviews occurred after Mitt What’s-His-Name became no more than a grease-spot on the buttocks of History.  Surely its ephemeral japery is by now O.B.E.

The suspicion, indeed, arises, that most of the supposed viewers are not real readers, but trolling robots.  To foil their evil schemes, we have removed the post from its original situs, and we re-post it here -- without a live link to this one  that a web-bot could exploit.

We’ll see.

While we’re at it, though, we cannot refrain from noting that the news of Mitt Romney being actually Black -- an exclusive scoop of the World of Dr Justice -- has now been explicitly confirmed by the President himself.   --  What, you don’t believe me?   Then witness this documentary footage, and believe your ears and eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlwilbVYvUg

Never doubt me again.

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~ Commercial break ~

Relief for beleaguered Nook lovers!

http://murphybros.blogspot.com/p/read-murphy-on-your-nook.html

We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

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~ ~ Original Post   ~ ~

WDJ:  Another abject retraction

It seems to be our sorry lot at this site  to release sensational revelations, the Talk of the Web, only to learn that we misspoke.  (Sad examples  here and here.)   Such is once again alas the case;  and once again the controversy concerns Mr. Mitford “Mitt” Romney, former moderate, former and future corporate raider, and current President-for-Life of People’s Islamic Azawad. 

This site was the first  outside of compartmented channels  to reveal that Mr. Mitt “Witt” Romney is -- to all appearances -- Black.  But appearances can be deceiving.

In a carefully-worded response to our claim, the Romney campaign would confirm only that the candidate is “of African descent”.   But which -- Maghrebi or Sub-Saharan?  It makes a difference.  The Arabs and Berbers of the Maghreb, howsoever dusky of hue, belong linguistically (and thus, in a loose sense, racially) to the Hamito-Semitic group, rather than to the Negroid (this latter group, or granfalloon, having a certain vague physical coherence, with some notable exceptions, and too much linguistic diversity to fall under any taxonomic rubric -- but we are informally using the traditional sub-scientific term) would not normally be referred to as  “Black”.  So which is it?

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~ Commercial break ~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TWpcZGE_q4

We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

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I put the question to the candidate himself the other day, down at the yacht club, over drinks (single-malt in my case, Diet Cherry Coke in his).   So which is it, “Mitt”?

Whereupon Romney, speaking through an interpreter in his native Tifinagh, replied:

        “Oogoo-boogoo wagah,  noogoo-loogoo babah.”

(The interpreter wasn’t very good.)

Over at the bar, Romney’s prospective running-mate Donald Trump, speaking out of his anus, added:

“A Trump and Romney ticket is now accepted as inevitable.  But -- which of us will be at the top of the ticket?  That’s where the bookies are making odds.  Visit any of my casinos to grab a piece of the action.”

With that, the magnate winked, and clutched his crotch.

Frustrated, we put the question directly to his campaign staff:   From whence does Mitt “Mitt” Romney hail -- the Maghreb, or the Dark Continent beneath the Sahara?

After a hasty whispered conversation, a staffer replied:

“Whichever will offend the fewest voters.”

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 For an equally extravagant fantasy, check this out:

Murphy Makes a Mitzvah