Sunday, April 8, 2012

Romney, AQIM to join forces in free Azawad

Events are developing almost too swiftly to properly chronicle.  The following is an exclusive to WDJ;  it has not yet hit the New York Times, as you can verify by googling “Romney AQIM press conference”.

The arrival in Azawad (formerly northern Mali) of the entire senior leadership of Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM; French, AQMI), in addition  and in potential deadly rivalry  to  the actual Touareg forces of the MNLA,  has caused eyebrows to rise.

The fear is that the People’s Emirate of newly-liberated AZAWAD  might become a safe haven for lawless international entities such as al-Qaeda, the Taliban, … and Halliburton.

But few could have anticipated the stunning developments of the past couple of hours.  In a joint press conference with AQIM V.IP. Mokhtar Ben Mokhtar,  Abu-Mitt ag Romney, the former governor and current Prime Minister of free and independent People’s Azawad, indicated that al-Qaeda has perhaps been given something of a bad rap.  
“We talked things over, and discovered that we have a lot in common,” Romney explained.  “Like us, they believe in plural marriage;  like us, they agree that the New Testament is not the last word in Scripture; and like us, they shun every sort of government interference in business, preferring that such matters be left to religious law, supplemented by swordplay.”

And what of the enemies of the free and independent Caliphate of People’s Liberated Azawad, such as the blood-sucking Icelandic warmongers (whom Allah confound, and to whom the Azawadis refer to pejoratively, with an ethnic epithet, as  “Vikings”) ?
Here the former governor gave a chill and steely grin.  “They will be swiftly downromneyed.”

No comments:

Post a Comment