Monday, May 28, 2012

The Malian Candidate

They can dish it out, but they can’t take it.
Now that the Obama campaign has picked up on some of the same anti-Bain talking-points that the Republican candidates happily trotted out during the primary, they are squealing like stuck pigs.   One of them, after emitting some gassy platitudes on NPR, was confronted by the interviewer, quoting back to him statements made by the former candidate and by his campaign manager, very similar to what he was now denouncing as scandalous excess.  “I can’t be held responsible for what my campaign manager says,” was all his retort.  This takes Deniability to a new level (and would, indeed, exonerate Obama, since the statements being objected to generally emanate from others than himself).  There is only one level beyond that:  “I can’t be held responsible for what I said five minutes ago.”  Oh wait -- one more:  “I can’t be held responsible for what I am saying right now.”

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Now, a sense of proportion.  (And here we refrain from advocacy, and merely ply the tools of logic.)   Though subject to empirical constraints, one’s position on Bain is ultimately a matter of opinion, influenced by necessarily fallible technical analysis,  weightings of various pieces of evidence using a metric not logically given in advance, and by unshared tacit assumptions, so that reasonable men may differ.  Thus, if  for you  workers are just a cost-input like fuel costs or bribes/campaign-contributions, your calculus will produce a different evaluation-measure when these workerunits are excessed (or, more efficiently, recycled as fuel), than if you hold some other assumption quite at variance with Romneyesque principles -- say, that workers are actual people.   About such essentially irresoluble differences,  the World of Dr Justice shall, in its above-the-fray objectivity, have nothing to say;  “de gustibus”, as the Latin has it (or: de minimis, per Mitt and Newt).  But, note:   Wherever you may happen to stand on that spectrum, the debate at least takes off from a matter of shared admitted fact:  Bain Capital does exist, did do various things, and Romney ran it.

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Such empirical tethering has traditionally not restrained the Republicans -- the party of Birthers and Swift-Boaters, and the whisperers that Obama is a Muslim.    The analogy to those campaigns would not take as its starting-point  something so mundane, and subject to fact-checking, as Mr Romney’s business history.   It would make something up out of whole cloth, something that would stick in the craw of the American electorate; like, say, whispers to the effect that Mitt Romney is …  a Mormon.
No wait -- he is a Mormon, and the Dems haven’t made an issue of it.

Face it, the ‘crats just plain lack imagination, and are chutzpah-challenged to boot.   Accordingly, and as a public service, the World of Doctor Justice has confected a richly detailed parallel universe  in which all sorts of bizarre factoids about abu-Mitt al-Romni  are available for your perusal and review.  Begin the adventure here:

Here further are some late-breaking nuggets from our research department:

*  Mitt Romney is not an American, but was born in Azawad.  This is clearly stated on the Moebius Form of his birth certificate.

* Back in kindergarten, young Romney was sent to the principal's office... on a charge of treason !!

*  Continuing a long American tradition of such innuendo, in South Carolina in 2000, the Bushies ran a whispering campaign against John McCain, alleging that he had fathered a black child.  Well, we’ll see your bet and bump the pot: 
Mitt Romney is in fact black.  Appearances to the contrary  are just a trick of light.

The World of Dr Justice:
Truthitude U Can Trust ®

[Mise à jour ] Pour plus d’information sur la négritude du candidat Républicain,
cliquez ici:

[Update 29 V 2012]  Nothing in satire can be as biting as the reality:
This ... man ... is ... scum.

[Update 13 June 2012] Know him by the company he keeps:
You just can’t make this stuff up.


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