Friday, September 30, 2011

“Res ipsa loquitur”

In the pilot for “NYPD Blue”, the DA, a woman in the reigning TV mode (beautiful, dressed-for-success, smarter than the men) says to the main guy in the show, a beat cop who has just been humiliated on the witness-stand:  “I’d say ‘Res ipsa loquitur’, if I thought you knew what it meant.”
OK -- pretty snide, pretty snarky.  But still.  Don’t you be caught out -- at a cocktail party, or between the sheets -- not knowing this phrase !   Here you go !

[Update, 1 second later]
OK so -- Press Pause, then Play, and the guy says, grabbing his privates (you'd think he'd be a grease-spot by this point, but what a comeback):
        "HEY!  Ipse this, you pissy little bitch !"

(And so, in the battle of the sexes -- 40-All.)

I understand that, later in the series, the two have an affair.  Still, neither debuted with a very good pickup line.  You're better off learning Latin.

So, next time you're in a singles bar and spot some hot broad [memo to self:  be sure to find a more-PC description before posting], simply sidle up to her, drink (not privates) in hand, and intone suavely:

"Vivamus, mea pulchra, atque amemus."

(That's Latin for 'Howdy, my hottie, let's get it on."  Only, in Latin it's in very good taste.)

Chances are she will coyly/archly/demurely reply (her ripe lips sensuously molding the classical vowels):

"Res ipsa loquitur, big guy."

Now you know you have a playmate for the night.

For a cool dude
and a hot dame,
check this out:


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