Saturday, September 3, 2011

Vagaries of the search function: “Sexxx”

Among the excellent functionality provided by the folks at Blogspot (a tip of the boater  to them  at this juncture) is their provision of the “Search Keywords” feature, for the better guidance of the blogger.

In the past few hours, two search-strings are recorded:

            review yau "the shape of inner space"

(All very well, par for the course.)   And, umm…


!  -- The seeker obviously intended to retrieve our morally blameless post,  “Dr J’s Sexxx Tips”, recommended especially for women and children (though not for members of celibate monastic orders).  But -- the wide world being what it is -- how could a search on this one bare string, amid all the cacophany of the public square, pull up our own small offering here?

I tried it, I googled that single word.  And, oh!  what a tumble, is my face red (along with other body-parts as well).   Page after page of… oh, my…. page … oh ….  page, oh … ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

Anyhow.  That is not the way to find this site.  Whether you’d eventually find it, I do not know; I gave up, exhausted, after several pages.

Rule of thumb:  If you wish to find Dr Justice’s wholesome crunchy goodness, while avoiding the vulgarities of the marketplace -- simply append “woodchuck” to any google search you do !    Thus,

            sexxx woodchuck

promptly brings up our own site at the very top of the list -- slots #1, 2, 3, & 4 !!

In fact, now that I try it, < review yau "the shape of inner space">, though penned with the best of intentions, doesn’t really work either.   Whereas

            review yau "the shape of inner space" woodchuck

brings up no fewer than seven hits for this site, on the very first page !  
So, you see how useful these humble loveable creatures can be.


[Update, the waning evening hours of September third]
Just a moment ago, a new search-term popped up:

        grommet world

This, no doubt in search of a satirical item on site-statistics and gaming the search engine (WHICH WE WOULD NEVER DO), which we posted way back in February;  amazing anybody remembers it.  Anyhow the point is -- the only search-strings that show up in the Blogspot report  are those that worked, that actually found this site on the strength of it.  So I tried it and, well, no such luck:  there's a lot of competition, seems the planet is pantingly avid for grommets;  I gave up after a couple of pages.  But!  In line with our secret formula above, already you are giving this a whirl:

      grommet world woodchuck

Bingo !   Right where you wanna be.

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~ Commercial break ~
Relief for beleaguered Nook lovers!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

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[Update 24 Sept 2011]
These “search keywords” reports are endlessly fascinating.  They provide an intimate glimpse into the mental workings of this blog’s readers -- almost at an infralinguistic/subrational level, like the speech of dreams.   Here are some recent ways that surfers found this site (presented as written, misspellings and all):

transient global amnesia and derek parfitt
grommets galore
pronunciation of percipi
reasons and persons was memorized and chanted
parfit triple theory
integers in our world?
how are integers in our world?
caera racaille
is firefox evil?
jason barabba
metrization theorem
les causeries du lundi
search sexxx
wilders tuigdorpens
j.c. polkinghorne vs. thomas kuhn
battlefield fanfaire
"happy marinating" define
godel neuroscience
justice language xxx
neuroscience pornography marketing
wilders geert dans le journal 2011

outreau justice
proctological argument for the non-existence of god
"percipi" prounciation
"new yorker" column fillers
"blind topologists"
countdown with mathematica
supraluminal neutrinos
babylonians again
milton "backward mutters of dissevering
grommet top curtain secrets
in caelo quae acta sint
pronunciation latin vade retro satana
gematria and semantics

Since the Commenting on this journal is remarkably sparse, this sort of thing is all I have to go by.  -- Some readers have reported that the blogspot software does not let them comment -- boo to the same folks we saluted before.   If you have something substantive that really needs to see the light of day, you can e-mail me at
If your communication is sufficiently sparkling, or flattering, or mentions woodchucks in any way, I’ll go ahead and post it for you.

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~ Commercial break ~
We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

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[Update 25 IX 11]  Okay, OHH-kay; this one’s just weird.  Some Jerry -- and we have ways of finding out who you are -- found the site via this string:
We seem to be getting the wrong reputation here, folks!   Topology -- woodchucks -- you name it !  That “porn” thing is just metaphorical!

It occurred to me that somehow our slyboots is gaming the system to pull me leg, putting in a searchstring that doesn’t really find the site  only somehow he barrels in anyway  and the string-hit registers in the stats.   But no, it actually works;  this is what you see:

Physics funporn ... Der Fall Rorty (Explication de texte) · Mind and Brain · NSDAP USA · Labor Day indeed · “Deconstructing Deconstructionism”

So, the French preposition does duty for the webdomain extension.

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[Update 9 X 11]  Children, children, this has got to stop !
Several of you keep searching on “penes” -- well, benefit of the doubt, perhaps it is the Latin preposition you have in mind, in which case you have come to the right place.  But one of you -- and you know who you are -- just searched on

fizik pnrn galeri

Now that looks like the sort of spelling-distortion that spammers use to sneak past filters & firewalls.   Jimminy, get a girlfriend already !

[Update, Columbus Day, 2011]
All right that does it.  Someone just found this site, than which be none more chaste, via the following searchstring:

      sex sex sex xxx sexxxxxxx sex

No but I ask you!  --  Okay, we have ways of finding out who you are.  Chloe -- reposition the satellite, please.  Drill down … enhancing image….  There you are !  Stop what you’re doing !  Don’t you know that’ll grow hair on your hands?

[Update November sixteenth, 2011]
All right all right, you've read this far;  you've earned your all-day sucker.
Here are all the posts with the label "sex".  Enjoy.   But don't forget to wash your hands afterwards.

[Update 25 August 2014]  We are embarrassed to confess, that someone just found this post  by the following searchstring:

sexxxxxxx blogspot

This is very odd, since, to our knowledge, we have never in our born days written this word “sexxxxxxx”, so spelled.  Nor, really, do we desire readers who are too obsessively focussed upon that admittedly entertaining aspect of (church-sanctioned, faithful, monogamous, married) life.   We seek those who comprehend le gai savoir;  to them we offer such duple subjects as

sexxxx woodchuck
sexxxxx penguin
sexxxxxx topology
sexxxxxxx axiomatics (axxxiomatixxx)
sexxxxxxxx regressive strategy
sexxxxxxxxx minimalism
sexxxxxxxxxx Urysohn Metrization Theorem
sexxxxxxxxxxx  faux-naif
sexxxxxxxxxxxx  algebraic geometry
sexxxxxxxxxxxxx   Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften
sexxxxxxxxxxxxxx   Riemann Conspiracy


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