News of Dr J’s sensational paleographic discovery of a previously unsuspected Augustinian sonnet, a work now being hailed as possibly the finest in the history of the Latin language, is spreading wildfire-wise around the planet. The phone is, as the saying goes, “ringing off the hook” (not sure what that means exactly). Reactions pro and con are pouring in.
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| Augustine of Canterbury, trying to think of a rhyme for "woodchuck" |
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A sample from the mailbag:
Herr Prof. Johann-August-Heinrich von und zu Dinkelmeier: Have seen original Latin -- is not from Augustine v. Canterbury. Is from Boethius. Many points of sameness with De consolatione philosophiae.
Herr Prof. Johann-August-Heinrich von und zu Dinkelmeier: Have seen original Latin -- is not from Augustine v. Canterbury. Is from Boethius. Many points of sameness with De consolatione philosophiae.
Dr J replies: (*groan*) Oh no, not another Boethusian ! These guys are like the Baconians of Shakespeare scholarship: Everything medieval has to be by Boethius. Get a life.
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| Pope Gregory and the Saint, just chillin' |
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Prof. Dunkerd of the Harvard Zoölogical Museum: This is preposterous. Woodchucks are strictly confined to the North American continent. There are none in the Eastern Hemisphere, let alone in Canterbury or in Hippo.
Dr J replies: This is the sort of trifling criticism which the man of vision treats with sovereign contempt.
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Bobby S. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa: Hi Dr J what a nice poem I specially like the part about the animals Our school wants to adopt this as our fight song and we wonder how much royalty we owe.
Dr J replies: Bless you, Bobby, the song is free; it is my gift to all mankind. So:
Woodchuck, Woodchuck -- Fight Fight Fight !
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| Hamster -- not really germane to the argument, but a sight for sore eyes |
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When you say you are the first to publish this poem -- you lie ! It first appeared (of course, in the original Latin) in Seville, in 1431, in a privately circulated folio edition of which all copies were subsequently lost.
ReplyDelete@Lucanor: You lie, dog of a Spaniard ! My ancient family has in its possession a copy of this very poem (naturally, in the original Latin), antedating yours by over two hundred years ! The great Gallic nation was dining off silver plate, where yours were still hopping about in animal skins.
ReplyDelete@Barbour: The affront is unforgivable. I challenge you to a duel -- though I seriously doubt that you with your petty French title are really satisfaktionsfähig. My seconds will confer with your seconds to arrange terms. Since you choose to impute to me a troglodytic ancestry, I propose that the choice of weapons be giant gnarly clubs. I happen to have a pair that has been in the family for untold generations, still wet with mastodon blood.
ReplyDeleteThats a nice poem but how about you put in a hamster instead my hamsters name is Fluffy woodchucks are sort of gross
ReplyDelete