Monday, January 30, 2012

Anencephalic Epigrams



On religion, I lean towards deism, but consider its proof  largely a problem in astrophysics.
-- Edward O. Wilson, Consilience (1998).

Professor Wilson would probably feel mortified to behold this bone-headed bon mot  displayed naked and defenseless on the printed page, without the protection of dust-jacket accolades from fellow professors.   Not wishing to be in any way hurtful, we therefore provide it a camouflage or protective coloration of similar sallies.

On the existence of Beauty, I remain an Aesthetic Minimalist, but consider the resolution of this trifling problem  to be a mere matter for Optics.
-- Casey Stengel

The postulated existence of the material world is a challenging problem for further research.  We propose to settle the matter  one way or the other, by scientifically examining a hypothetical chunk of the stuff (a Twinkie, as chance would have it) in our up-to-date laboratories.  But for that we shall require a very large grant indeed.
-- Professor von Milchmoustache

Whether it be true that Truth itself exists, as such,  can only be resolved by an expedition to the North Pole, to determine whether, in point of empirical fact, snow is white.  Should it turn out to be the color of polar-bear pee, then Tarski’s entire enterprise  falls to the ground.
-- Yogi Berra

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