Saturday, January 14, 2012

Echidna funporn

To our severe displeasure, our post below -- let us call it Wholesome Family Fun with Your Capybara -- has soared in the stats to become our most-viewed post ever -- the viewers mostly located in Turkey, Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, and Thailand.  We hope they are dropping by for the right reasons -- the post in question, a satire on sexxxy Webfare, and intended ironically as stat-bait, links to sobersided essays on ontology and eliminative materialism -- but we have our doubts.
(I would truly like my headstone to bear some epigraph other than "king  love  porn",  which is the phrase these folks have been googling  to get here.)

In that post, we mention our funny humble friend the echidna (think:  hedgehog with a proboscis), and link to a heart-warming video of a baby of that race discovering the world, ve-ry slow-ly…  But, fact is, I had to search long and hard before finding a non-pornographic video of these diminutive prickly innocents, the least (and yet loveable) of God’s creatures.  So I figure -- Why let all that research go to waste?  We know what some of our readers (alas) are panting for.

So here you go, fresh off the Web.  Echidna funporn.

M-m- m-m- .... MA-maaaa......

Warning!  You must be at least six years old to watch this video:

Sooo-oooo  sweeeeepeeee ....

You must be eighteen or older to watch this video:

You must be ninety-six to watch this video:
Ummm....  TMI ....

[Note:  Violators will be reprimanded.  We are watching your every move via your Webcam.  Additionally, we are reading your thoughts via some kewwl neww software; and frankly, we’re not pleased at what we see.]

If any of you entertained impure thoughts while viewing those naughty videos, let alone if any of you....ewwww....touched yourselves  during or after, you can atone by taking in this wholesome message of Christian uplift:

The Parable of the Penitent and Impentitent Thieves,

and then -- now, this is the crucial step, now -- buying the bookThis book.
(Please save your receipt, and show it to St. Peter at the appropriate time.)

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