The current issue of The New Yorker has an incisive, insightful portrait of Newt Gingrich and his rather dizzy supporters, by an author new to me, Kelefa Sanneh, written with dry wit (which is all the New Yorker editors allow their non-fiction staff -- for keel-over-funny you need to visit this blog). It recounts a recent stump speech by that irrepressible political chameleon:
He earned one of the night’s warmest responses by proposing that drug tests be mandatory for anyone receiving federal assistance -- in essence, a small-government rationale for state surveillance.
Whether The Gingrich meant this as a jest (it is indeed a merry one) or a serious proposal, is unclear (he is probably vague on the distinction himself), but it is not as outlandish as you might think: Already smoking is banned in several federally-subsidized housing-projects.
But Der Newt went on to put forward a much more disturbing assertion:
The audience applauded again when he answered a question about the creeping influence of Islam by promising to keep sharia law out of American courtrooms, possibly by “rebalancing the judicial branch”, which might involve impeaching recalcitrant judges or abolishing their courts.
We were skeptical that the problem could already be actually that bad, so we sent the assertion to our crack team of Fact-Checkers (they work out of the gleaming forty-storey headquarters building of Dr J World-Wide Enterprise, in Geneva) -- and whaddaya know, sure enough, Gingrich was spot on target. Here are some recent, shocking rulings:
=> In Georgia, a judge, ironically named Learned Hand, having convicted a youthful defendant of shoplifting a Snickers bar from the local Piggly-Wiggly, sentenced the miscreant to having the right hand amputated at the wrist. (The case is on appeal.)
=> In Amarillo, Texas, a former executive and elected official named Richard Cheney was convicted of serial lying to the American people, and sentenced to one hundred lashes.
But what probably tipped the applecart for Newt was this case:
=> In Lost Gulch, Idaho, one Newton Leroy Gingrich was tried in absentia for serial adultery coupled with extreme hypocrisy, and, in accordance with the law of Allah (whose name be exalted) sentenced to death by lapidation.
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[Update 19 February 2012]
A similar faux flare-up, this time in France:
You can watch an American-style televised shout-fest here:
http://www.lemonde.fr/election-presidentielle-2012/article/2012/02/18/selon-le-pen-toute-la-viande-distribuee-en-ile-de-france-est-halal_1645353_1471069.html#ens_id=1556164
Mme. Le Pen is a high-decibel lady, but with more mental fibre than her nearest U.S. equivalents Palin or Bachmann.
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