“This case presents certain
features of pinterest.”
-- Psherlock Pholmes
As mentioned here, a young friend has just informed me that, if I want anyone
at all to so much as glance at my blog, who doesn’t have a beard as white as
mine (quite becoming, though, she told me the other day), I absolutely have to gear
uP and get with the Program and
begin seeking Pinnings on something called “ “ “Pinterest” “ “. (Additional quotation marks added for
hazmat security. The thing
has gone viral, in ways reminiscent of ebola.) And that is essential because, only in that fashion
will thousands of milling visitors throng my site, and, no doubt charmed, ask
themselves “Hmm! Wonder whether
this fellow has published any exciting mysteries??” And upon learning (to their
surprise and delight) that he has indeed, they rush out to rid themselves of
their surplus dollars, here and here and here. (Remember, you can’t take it with
you. -- Of course, you’re a little young for that thought.) Whereupon I take the resulting royalty
money to the neighborhood bank, and retire and buy a yacht and sail
around the oceans in a sailor suit, on a deck bustling with penguins and
pangolins. That’s the plan.
The only price you must pay, to get Pinned to, is to chuck
out your old preoccupation with the dusty print culture (logic and history and
ideas and reasoning and like that) and focus on images. Eye-candy. Pictures.
Well, sure, whatever. Why not.
For an old guy, I’m pretty “hep”, you dig?
But I am still enough of a philologist that this bizarre coinage and novel
vocable,
“Pinterest”
(of all things), has got me scratching my snowy-locked
head. Whatever can be the
derivation of this strange-looking word?
Well, let’s start with the root. Morphologically, we have: Pint|er|est. Pint (rhymes with mint) is German slang for ‘penis’; so
far so good. Now -er can be either the masculine (natch)
adjective ending, or else a comparative suffix: thus, something
like ‘he-penis’ or ‘more-penissy’.
Finally, -est is, in German
just as in English, the mark of the superlative; hence the word as a whole means, etymologically,
‘most-more-penissy’ or perhaps ‘superlatively penissy’ or perhaps ‘so penissy
you could spread it on toast’.
Checking with Wikipedia to confirm this hypothesis, I
learned that the site “is managed by Cold Brew Labs” -- evidently a beer
laboratory. Awesome. This
has got to be a total guy thing.
Such, youngsters, are the teachings of philology.
~
Curiosity by now aroused, I for the first time visited their website -- carefully typing in the word, P - I
- N - T - E - R - E - S -T (can that be right? It reads like a typo) -- blushing a bit that the all-seeing
Google (which probably spies on the enn ess ay, rather than the other way
around), drawing the conclusion that I have a fascination with, um, superlative
images of ‘Pint’s, no doubt will start pimpling the response-pages with image
ads for Viagra and masculine enhancement and whatnot, rather than
penguin-grooming products as they normally do now; but bit my lip and proceeded anyway: I’ve got to get that yacht!
So it landed me at www.pinterest.com, and … I felt as though
I had accidentally wandered into the wrong restroom. Not only do more than four times as many women as men
use the site (or so we're told), but to say that its design and presentation were
expressive “principally” of women, would be an understatement; it is positively estrogenic. So, looks like the proposed
German etymology is refuted by the
old method of Wörter und Sachen.
Having now looked around there a bit, it remains obscure to
me how anybody is ever going to find my most important posts via that site -- essays
on Theologia Mathematica, or Trinitarian Minimalism, or Eliminative Materialism -- or etymology, for that matter. I didn’t spot any pictures of the
Riemann hypothesis, nor the Poincaré conjecture neither; no hint of
Indo-European roots. Just … weird hairdos and stuff. True, there was one image of some guy doing woodworking; but in context, I suspect it’s intended to be ironic.
So, I may have to settle for a rowboat, and retirement at
ninety-five.
As it is, half the visitors to my site these days seem to be
horny guys over in Belgium
searching on images for “Aurélie Delvaulx” (la divine Aurélie) -- whose portrait we here reproduce, for
research purposes:
To rotate this image:
using your free hand,
manipulate the mouse;
double-click to
remove the panties.
|
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