Dr Justice leads in early voting

As we remarked here,

      Dr J a shoo-in for November

a little-noticed Supreme Court decision (Cauchy v. Riemann, 2010) has rewritten the political calculus in the United States.  Mindful of the inevitable (and endless) challenges  in backward areas like Florida and Ohio, the Court vowed to spare the nation a re-run of November 2000:  the outcome this year goes strictly by the popular vote.   This detail becomes key when you consider that Antarctica -- which, like Puerto Rico, is (in part) an American Overseas Territory -- is likewise enfranchized, its aboriginal inhabitants (the penguins) having been granted voting privileges out of simple racial fairness.  And there are lots, and lots, of penguins.

Early returns (unofficial vote totals)

            Justice  --  5 billion

            Obama -- bupkes

            That other guy -- bupkes

Civil Rights groups were quick to hail the imminent victory of the nation’s first Penguin President.

~

Adoring crowds have already assembled beneath the brooding aspect of the WDJ   Fortress of Solitude.  The Doctor then appeared briefly on the balcony, and a cry went up -- "Speech!  Speech!"

But then had to report:  "The First Lady has indicated that I need to take out the recyclables.  Catch you later."

~

When the Doctor re-emerged, he announced that, upon reflection, he didn’t want to be President after all, since it would mean living in Washington D.C., which is awfully crowded.   Disappointed, the crowds dispersed for an evening of caroling and looting.

Later in the evening, Dr Justice met with President Obama, over a few beers (in the case of the Doctor, quite a few), and formally conceded the race.  In gratitude, the President offered Dr J his pick of any post in the new administration.  Dr Justice has accordingly been appointed Emir of Antarctica.

~ I'm Dr Justice ~

~ and I approved this message ~

As his first act in office, he has declared war on the polar bears.

[Psst -- secret!  Buy my books !!! ]