Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dining with the Neanderthals


My good friend Dr. Massey, publisher and Latinist, theologian and billionaire-to-be, has just released his soon-to-be bestseller,  Original Thin, a historically grounded look at the paleo diet.   
Now, in general, I do not read or recommend  diet books;  but this is an exception, it being both philologically grounded, and written by a true scholar.   Plus my wife is reading it and she likes it -- and how could one’s wife be wrong?  Dr. Massey himself  followed this diet, while deployed downrange, in Mesopotamia -- with spectacular results.  Maidens sigh and virgins swoon at his ultrabuff hardbody  -- but, too late, ladies;  he’s a married man.
So -- order early and often !  If you are among the first select ten-thousand to obtain a copy, eligible for an autograph by the author (simply drop by his house  -- and his wife will probably give you some pie), you will possess a treasure that might well fetch upwards of $50K on EBay someday -- except that you are too decent to do that:  you would naturally pass the heirloom down to your grandchildren, down to the seventh generation.
It is not positively stated that this diet will cure cancer and triple your climaxes, but the word on the street is… (whisper whisper)…… ( !y!e!s!) ….

Caveat:  The cover features some sizzling nude art;  you must be twelve years old or older to order.

[A more serious appreciation here.]

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