Dogged by a sordid litany of crimes against the working class, and of outrages performed upon the prostrate body of the goddess Veritas, Millard “Witt” Romney has fled CONUS and taken up residence in the newly self-liberated nation of Free and Independent AZAWAD, which has offered political asylum in return for a substantial but undisclosed sum. Here he will join such luminaries as Ali Abdallah Saleh (the ousted President of Yemen), Ayman al-Zawahiri, and (this just in) Bashar al-Assad, in a sort of Felons in Exile club. We note with satisfaction that there will be enough for a hand of bridge.
Newly appointed Azawadi Minister of Tourism Dr Justice welcomed the new arrival. “We reckon he’ll become a tourist attraction all by himself. We shall charge admission and allow people to point and stare.”