In a move that surprised some naive observers, though long anticipated by the well-informed, Google today announced that it would be fielding an NFL team this season. Their spokesperson explained:
“Face it -- whatever we choose to turn our hand to, we do better than anyone else. It stands to reason that the same applies to football.
“That we shall be winning the trophy is a foregone conclusion; to add some spice, our stated goal is rather to have an undefeated season, with no turnovers.”
The teammates in question are being developed in Google’s genetics lab. The question whether it was quite cricket to use genetically enhanced players was dismissed with a wave of the hand. “Ever since they let that android on springy-sproingy high-tech blades run in the Olympics, there are no standards. Anything goes. Anything will go.”
Stunned by the news, Amazon retaliated immediately, vowing that they too would enter the gridiron, and show those Google wannabes how the thing is done. “We come to play football,” they said.
Asked how Amazon could possibly hope to compete against the Google Foot-bots®, they replied that their teammates would have a superior esprit de corps, since they would all be melded together in a multi-man gay marriage -- a cause especially dear to Amazon CEO Jess Bezos.
The response from Apple was muted. It did not indicate any immediate intentions to field a team, but noted that, since Apple holds the patent on all non-spherical shapes for balls, there could be royalty issues.
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