In a move that pleased the market, Jeff Bezos, the Imam of Amazon, shook
hands with Abubakar Shekau, President and CEO of Jama'atu Ahlis Sunna
Lidda'Awati Wal-Jihad (ticker symbol:
Boko Haram), in a deal to merge their operations.
“It’s a natural fit,” observed one Wall Street analyst, who
requested anonymity since he has already cut a sweet deal on tomorrow’s joint
IPO owing to insider access. “It will take the fabled marketing
smarts of Boko, as evidenced by the celebrated Schoolgirl Caper which
captivated world attention, not to mention their hilarious, crowd-pleasing
recent video, in which
Shekau himself did stand-up, and
will blend that with Amazon’s reputation for absolute savagery in the ruthless
pursuit of business dominance in all regions of the globe and all areas of
commerce whatsover, ripping the innards out of any publisher or bookseller who
dares oppose them, and scattering the entrails by the side of the road. Plus there’s the reported Amazon Fleet
of Drones."
With this move, say the experts, the new entity (which will
be docketed on the NY Stock Exchange as Boko Book © ) is well positioned to challenge the feared behemoth
Google in the struggle for total World Domination.
The supreme leaders
of Amazon and Boko
unite to divide up
the spoils.
|
[Update 6 September 2014] Evidently blindsided by Boko-Book’s bold move, Google has hastily joined forces with
the ISIL.
Once again, the synergies are similar. From its origin as a rag-tag band
of a few dozen ill-favoured and defeated Iraqis, the ISIL has used unparalleled
powers of media-savvy self-promotion to catapult itself to the rank of a world-historical
“Caliphate” ™. For its part, Google
is known as the merciless take-no-prisoners global juggernaut second to none.
The ticker symbol of the new entity is ISIU (Imperial State
of the Intergalactic Universe). Shares
were up moderately in early trading.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-amazon-com-alexa-insight/kill-your-foster-parents-amazons-alexa-talks-murder-sex-in-ai-experiment-idUSKCN1OK1AJ
"Ordering a child-bride online? Free shipping with ISIL Prime !"
[Update 21 Dec 2018] Amazon is evil:https://www.reuters.com/article/us-amazon-com-alexa-insight/kill-your-foster-parents-amazons-alexa-talks-murder-sex-in-ai-experiment-idUSKCN1OK1AJ
If that link doesn't work, the Reuters story was picked up later here:
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