Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Jack Bauer’s Amazing Adventures

Scene:  A lunch-counter.  A freckle-faced tyke orders a hot dog.

Counterman:  Sorry, sonny, we’re out of hot-dogs.
Tyke:  But -- but --     )* sniff *(
Jack Bauer, suddenly looming into view:  It’s alright, son, you’ll get your hot-dog.
[To counterman]:  Take me, as a hostage.  You can grind me into hot-dogs.
[Counterman shrugs.]
Tyke (suspiciously):  But will I get a bun?
Jack:  Yes, son, you’ll have a bun.
Tyke (relaxing a bit, but still wary):  And … ketchup?
Jack (hoarse whisper):  Yes, son, plenty of ketchup.
Tyke (taking charge):  Pickle relish!
Jack:  Yes, yes, whatever you want!!
Tyke (becoming blasé; to the counterman):  I’ll have fries with that.

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