Sunday, July 8, 2012

A juicy slab of Science 4 U

We read in Scripture,  “He that toucheth pitch, shall be defiled ..."

The statistics are in.   A massive international effort, involving CERN labs near Geneva (site of the WDJ research headquarters), the Woodrow Wilson Institute, and the Ladies Auxiliary of the Riemann Conspiracy, has completed its survey of the psychological, endocrinological, nutritional and topological effects of consuming Murphy stories.

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~ Commercial break ~
A live reading from "Murphy on the Mount"
read by the two-fisted detective himself !

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Major findings:

* The average IQ of Murphy readers rings in at 180 -- almost as high as the median figure for WDJ adepts (240+).

*     *     *
~ Commercial break ~
A live reading by the publisher, Dr. Keith Massey of Lingua Sacra,
from "I Don't Do Divorce Cases"

*     *     *

* The average height of Murphy readers surpasses that of the average American.  Somewhat surprisingly, they are additionally  roughly an inch taller than when they began the book.  (Certain masculine dimensions, which we shall not go into, are even more favorably affected.)

*     *     *
~ Commercial break ~
Witness the only known photograph of Dr. Justice,
together with his taken-aback baby
and charming wife

*     *     *

* Most lost five pounds of fat over the course of the reading, while putting on ten pounds of muscle and an undetermined amount of grey matter.

Click here for free excerpt.

* We are forbidden by the FDA to allude to the rumored anti-carcinogenic effects of reading Murphy novels.  But watch while I slowly  wink my eye.

A tale of epiphany and passion

Free excerpt:
Murphy on an unsolved mystery  (Caution!  Implicit content!)
Murphy's mystical vision
... and a new Murphy story -- completely free:
Cash on Deliverance

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