Misled by my intemperate diatribes against the nihilistic, eliminative-materialist, knuckle-dragging crew of drooling wall-eyed hunchbacks known as “neuroscientists” (they are known by other names as well, not printable in a family newspaper such as this one), some of you may fancy that I misprize the findings of psychological science. Not a bit of it! Freud and James are among the official heroes of this site, with side-chapels devoted to their veneration.
Accordingly, that we may be received back into the good graces of the world psychological community, we here share with you the fruits of our own researches into juvenile male psychology, conducted in vast laboratories over the years, at immense expense (gratefully funded by adoring taxpayers), that you may pass them on to your grandchildren, and they to their little ones, world without end.
* No boy is able to eat a drumstick without imagining himself to be a tyrannosaur.
* Mine is bigger than yours; I’m not just imagining it.
* A word like banana becomes funnier and funnier, the more times you say it rapidly in succession.
(Much later, wise and in the fullness of years -- but stoned -- I found the phrase “Principia Mathematica” -- uttered in a high-pitched voice -- absolutely hilarious.)
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