Monday, April 9, 2012

WDJ Ltd. Announces Innovative New Product-Line

Just heard a blurb wherein a certain big-name university has started to pimp off its rep by offering an online substitute for education, “tailored to both men and women” (hard to know what that would mean, exactly -- a garment that doubles as a codpiece and a bra), and offering “credit for life experience”.   That’s where you don’t have to even do any coursework;  they just give you their imprimatur -- “Flipped burgers, eh?  Killed your stepparents, huh?  -- Fine; you’re good to go.”

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~ Commercial break ~
We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

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Sounds like a pretty good deal except it’ll cost you hundreds if not thousands of dollars plus a lot of pain and paperwork.  Accordingly,  WDJ Worldwide Global Enterprises is now offering a clean and painless solution.   Simply fork us a fittybone in small unmarked bills, and attest that you

            (a) were duly born (unlike for Obama, multiple birth-certificates are not required)
            (b) are not just some brain-in-a-vat,

and we will personally give you credit for your “life experience”.

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