Just heard a blurb wherein a certain big-name university has started to pimp off its rep by offering an online substitute for education, “tailored to both men and women”, and offering “credit for life experience”. That’s where you don’t have to even do any coursework; they just give you their imprimatur -- “Flipped burgers, eh? Fine; you’re good to go.”
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We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.
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Sounds like a pretty good deal except it’ll cost you hundreds if not thousands of dollars plus a lot of pain and paperwork. Accordingly, WDJ Worldwide Global Enterprises is now offering a clean and painless solution. Simply fork us a fittybone in small unmarked bills, and attest that you
(a) were duly born (unlike for Obama, multiple birth-certificates are not required)
(b) are not just some brain-in-a-vat,
and we will personally give you credit for your “life experience”.