Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Latest Pawn-Sacrifice in the Great Game (bis)

A little fait-divers,  buried in the back pages:

Boris Berezovsky, self-exiled Russian tycoon and Putin rival, found dead in England

LONDON — Boris Berezovsky, a self-exiled and outspoken Russian tycoon who had a bitter falling out with Russian President Vladimir Putin, was found dead in southeast England on Saturday. He was 67.

The cause of Berezovsky’s death was not immediately clear, and Thames Valley police said it was being treated as “unexplained.” The police would not directly identify him, but when asked about Berezovsky by name they read a statement saying they were investigating the death of a 67-year-old man at a property in Ascot, a town 40 kilometers (25 miles) west of London.
Lawyer Alexander Dobrovinsky told Russian state TV that his client — who had survived assassination attempts in the past — lately had been in “a horrible, terrible” emotional state.
A mathematician-turned-Mercedes dealer [!], Berezovsky amassed his wealth during Russia’s chaotic privatization of state assets in the early 1990s following the collapse of the Soviet Union. In return for backing former Russian President Boris Yeltsin, he gained political clout and opportunities to buy state assets at knockdown prices, making a fortune in oil and automobiles.
He also played a key role in brokering the rise of Yeltsin’s successor, Vladimir Putin, in 2000. But Berezovsky later fell out of favor with Putin, and eventually sought political asylum in the U.K. in the early 2000s to evade fraud charges he contended were politically motivated.
Berezovsky was one of several so-called Russian “oligarchs” to butt heads with Putin.
After coming into power, the Russian president effectively made a pact: the oligarchs could keep their money if they didn’t challenge him politically. Those who refused often found themselves in dire circumstances. Some were imprisoned — like the former Yukos Oil chief Mikhail Khodorkovsky — while others, like Berezovsky, fled Russia.
The assets of these pariah businessmen, meanwhile, were acquired by state corporations or cooperative tycoons, often at bargain prices.

Those of you who are witting to the Riemann Conspiracy   will have no difficulty  sorting out the major players.  Indeed, we are astonished to see the level of intelligence and inside information among Washington Post readers:

I'm waiting for the Koch Brothers to absolve themselves from having any connection with the unfortunate accident Karl Rove is about to have. 
 You don't spend $400 Million Dollars with NO RESULTS without consequences ....

[How could that reader possibly know this?  There are no more than half a dozen principals  read-in to that black op.]

Obama is behind this!
to the batmobile!
But... Dubya looked into Putin's eyes and saw his soul. He said he was a good man. This cannot happen.
Shoulda seen that umbrella coming....
Got the message, Cypriot Parliment? 
oh and by the way if the US executive wanted to kill US citizens, this is how they would do it and not with drones 

why would you use a sledgehammer for a job that can be done by more easily accomplished by a little hammer?  

this is what a goverment killing its dissidents looks like for real. pay attention

Alas all the posters in question  have just this night died  in unrelated accidents.

I - am - telling - you -  nothingk

But what will have escaped the attention of all but a select few, is that the assassination in question had little or nothing to do with politics …  and everything to do with mathematics.
Read again, the following key passage, which you assuredly missed:

A mathematician-turned-Mercedes dealer, Berezovsky …

A well-informed reader of Le Figaro  picked up on this as well:

Dans son interview il avait aussi dit qu'il voulait rentrer en Russie et recommencer son travail de chercheur (en maths!).

Another replies:
En effet!  Le côté mathématique en est bien la clef.  Googlez
=> berezovsky математический riemann conspiracy

Si cela vous parle,
savourez la série noire
en argot authentique d’Amérique :

The fact of the matter is, since selling-off his Mercedes dealership (which had never been more than a front),  Berezovsky had returned to mathematics, and, together with his fellow mathematician-billionaire,  J&^^e$ $|^^*n$, was at the point of finally resolving the legendary RIEMANN HYPOTHESIS -- but in a way that no-one had anticipated, and which certain powerful forces were sworn to suppress.

[Further particulars are restricted to those in compartment PIEMAN.
Click on the invisible steganographic microdot  for access.]

[Declassify on:  18/19/2222]

*     *     *
~ Commercial break ~
Relief for beleaguered Nook lovers!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

*     *     *

Footnote:  The following attempted cover-up by the KGB  will naturally fool no-one:

Борис Березовский родился в Москве 23 января 1946 года. В 1967 году окончил факультет электроники и счетно-решающей техники Московского лесотехнического института, в 1973-м — механико-математический факультет МГУ. Член-корреспондент Российской академии наук, член Международного научного общества по теории принятия решений, основатель Международного научного фонда. Автор более 100 научных работ и ряда монографий. Лауреат премии Ленинского комсомола, был награжден Международным орденом Святого Константина Великого.

(Were you fooled?  I wasn't !)

~ ~ Посмертный Одобрение

"Если бы я был жив сегодня, и в настроении для тайны,

это то, что я хотел бы читать: "

Я не делаю случае развода

Мерфи на горе.

Иосиф Сталин, и я одобрил это сообщение.)

~ ~

Flash update!  For some possible hints as to the direction Berezovsky was working at the time of his assassination, click here:

For another, exceedingly strange story,
and not unrelated in theme,
try this:


[Breaking update]   IC connoisseurs will of course remember the recent Cryptographic Carrier-pigeon scandal at Bletchly park:

It now appears that Berezovsky may have been that late pigeon’s Controller.  This certainly adds a perplexing wrinkle  to an already-convoluted case.

~  Posthumous Endorsement ~
"If I were alive today, and in the mood for a mystery,
this is what I'd be reading: "
(I am Alan Turing,  and I approved this message.)
~         ~

[Mise à jour -- Alerte !]  L’affaire vient de prendre un tournant plutôt  déconcertant.  Vous remarquez bien comment ce soi-disant “Berezovsky” et DSK se ressemblent comme deux gouttes d’eau:

Je nie formellement

Or, l’Interpol suit actuellement la piste d’une possible consanguinité, voire  statut de jumeaux  séparés depuis le berceau.
Nous avons cela  de source sûre -- une ‘taupe’ enfouie dans les rangs des chercheurs (qui, malheureusement, vient de mourir).

Travaillant au noir,
le détective  se trouve aux prises
avec le Saint-Esprit

 [Red alert]  An incredible development:  It turns out Berezovsky was mixed up in the NY sting of OBJ SATYRE, recently identified as DSK:

He is the man in the raincoat in the video.

*     *     *
~ Commercial break ~
We now return you to your regularly scheduled essay.

*     *     *

[Minor update]  A curious item just appeared in the Garden Tools section of the Des Moines (Iowa) Register -- and nowhere else.   Veteran investigator Roger Crispmann of the LAPD/NKVD  has just been flown to Bletchley Park to aid in the investigation.   The significance of this detail is unknown.

[A curious sidelight]  In an apparent countermove to the unexpected GCHQ/LAPD collaboration, the DGSE has just brought the Murphy Brothers out of retirement, to work on a related case.
We have no further information at this time.

[Dateline London] Locked Room Mystery
According to The Telegraph:

But what they don’t want to tell you is -- that door was locked from the outside !!
They do, however, reveal  this tasty detail:

He had been due to be a witness at the inquest next month into the death of Alexander Litvinenko, the former KGB spy who was murdered in 2006 after being poisoned by radioactive polonium-210 in what is believed to have been a Kremlin-sanctioned assassination.

Wheels within wheels …

[Update]  The Comments below  are quite disturbing.  We object to this website being used as a link in a merciless manhunt!

The Iceman cometh .... 
He cometh ... for thee ....

[Strange update]  This scenario (true or not) bears a remarkable resemblance to the history of Stalin’s persecuted and penitent acolytes:

Erst vor zwei Monaten habe Beresowski einen sehr persönlichen Brief an Putin geschrieben und darin Fehler eingeräumt. Beresowski soll Reue gezeigt, seinem Erzfeind die Hand gereicht, um Vergebung und die Chance auf eine Rückkehr gebeten haben

Für psychologisch tiefgreifende Krimis,
in pikanter amerikanischer Mundart,
und christlich gesinnt,
klicken Sie bitte hier:


[Even stranger update]  The Des Moines Register has apparently issued a retraction -- though it is difficult to say for sure, since their website has been hacked.

Nostra Culpa
We earlier reported that Detective Crispmann had been recruited by [agency redacted] in England.
This is false on the face of it, since, as we are now informed, Lt. Crispmann died several months ago.
The Register regrets the error.

(…… Now can I have my daughter back ???)

~    ~    ~    ~    ~

[Update 25 March 2013,  0700 hours]   A ridiculous report has just surfaced in the Swiss press, alleging  against all probability  that the man who died in that locked bathroom  was not Berezovski (who remains at large)  but his possibly fraternal but more likely identical twin, DSK.   We denounce this fabrication in no uncertain terms.

[Update 25 March 2013,  0815 hours EST]  Certain delicate technical evidence, seemingly tending to corroborate the bizarre hypothesis above, has just been brought to our attention from a clandestine source.   There is no further information at this time.

[Update 25 March 2013,  0845 hours  EST]  … pending further developments …

[Update 25 March 2013,  1100 hours  EST  (1600Z)]   Pursuant to a Consent Agreement, the World of Doctor Justice  formally retracts our initial assessment of the Swiss report, as well as the contrary of that assessment.

[Update 25 March 2013,  1800Z]  We hereby retract, rescind, and repudiate, everything we have ever said about anything, or ever might say in the future.
[Note:  This sentence is false.]

[Update, 25 April 2013]  The above was satire;  but reality has a way of catching up.  The Russian state channel NTV has broadcast a 'documentary',  See Big Ben and Die, which claims that Berezovsky, Litvinenko, and other Russian exiles (whom it would be a euphemism even to dub 'dissidents') were in fact assassinated by ... MI6.
In the face of such events in the actual world, satire hobbles off with its begging bowl ...


  1. Fish for it, Putin, I am very much alive. The body that was found in the bathroom was just my stunt double.
    This is the second time I have fooled you. Read it and weep:

    1. Pride goeth before a fall, my friend. You should have used an IP anonymizer. May I recommend TOR?
      Too late, my former friend; the helicopters will be there soon. You are about to become very “former” indeed …