Monday, August 26, 2013

Liechtenstein calls for U.S. invasion

In our classic op-ed,  “The Case for Intervention in Liechtenstein”, we made the case for moving against those crafty and arrogant highlanders with the full force of American military might;  translated into dozens of languages, it has made its way by wire service  around the globe.  Certainly it is a tempting target economically;  in the words of Wiki:

Liechtenstein has the highest gross domestic product per person in the world when adjusted by purchasing power parity, and has the world's lowest external debt.

That would present quite a nice addition to anyone’s portfolio!  (We understand Romney and Cheney are already on board with this.)

Our argument reached a high point as readers’ comments poured in:

A reader:
I found one reason for intervention: they are really Lichtenstan -- yes, one one of those democracy-hating "stan" countries.

Our reply:
Yesss !!!!  For too long that rogue mountain nation has thumbed its nose at the world!!!
Lichtenstan delenda est !!!!

For their part, they claim to be a “konstitutionell Ierfmonarchie”, but this we doubt very much.  I mean, who ever heard of a “lerfmonarchie”?

Smack dab in our crosshairs

In a surprise development, that plucky upland folk has now gone on record as welcoming such a move on our part.   In the words of His Lerfmajesty the Kronprinz Alois ibn Hans-Adam von und zu OberLerflstein,   “Brenge hes owen!” (Lëtzebuergesch for “Bring it on”).

The Crown Prince (speaking through an interpreter) explains:

We have all seen “The Mouse that Roared”, and drawn the appropriate lessons.
Specifically, the very first thing the American military does these -- like rodents building a nest before all else -- is to construct a humongous airfield.  Right now we here in Liechtenstein have no airport, and just a poky little train-station.   In this manner, with generous American aid, we hope to overtake Frankfurt as the principal air hub of central Europe.

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